You’re Being Creepy on the Internet and It’s Keeping You From Getting Laid

As a result of my Tinder series I have found myself talking to an increasing number of men on the internet and it is exposing me to a trend that is quite frankly, terrifying. Granted some of the pickup lines in the Tinder series have been a little creepy, and the next round will be no exception, but when it is an opening line on Tinder it is easy to laugh it off. For the most part. It’s when you start talking to a guy off of Tinder that the creepiness really starts to shine through.

I have never been a big fan of handing out my phone number to guys on the internet because well, it’s handing out your phone number to guys on the internet. In turn I have noticed that with the increase in millennials being obsesed with their snapchat score and the potential for risqué photos men think comes from snapchat conversation I have spent a lot of time on snapchat. Pro tip: If you want to really drive a guy mad, friend him on snapchat and then don’t give him anything he wants, ever. Have a PG conversation like you would with any other snapchat friend. It’s a great way to make sure you actually have a conversation, and protects you from all the things that can go wrong when you undress for random men on the internet.

Regardless of if the conversation makes it off Tinder or not, the most experienced Tinder user will eventually ask why you are on Tinder and where you see the match heading (I’m probably not speaking for all girls here but don’t ask me this question, I will get annoyed). This is where the South starts to get this whole Tinder thing wrong. Tinder is not a dating app. Tinder is a wonderful place to meet people, make connections, see where things lead, and was originally used for the sole purpose of hooking up. The matching process on Tinder is almost 100% superficial and most definitely not where you should be searching for your next relationship. If it is you are doing it wrong. There are dozens of reputable dating websites you should redirect yourself to if you feel like you are ready to settle down.

Which is why I am getting frustrated to no end with the new trend of men on the internet. I don’t know you. In most instances I have not met you in person. If I have met you in person I don’t know you well enough for you to be taking claim over me. Don’t send me messages about how much you want to dominate me. Don’t send me messages about how you are going to make me yours. I’m not your property. I don’t want to be  your property. It isn’t cute. It isn’t charming. It isn’t going to get you laid. So dial back the creep level a notch or two and quit complaining about how unfair it is to be a guy on the internet. Maybe if you acted slightly more like a functioning member of society you would hear back from us more often. Until then I’m going to continue chasing horrible false leads on douchbag guys on the internet while ignoring all the poor suckers who try to get my attention with messages like ‘heyyy’.


One thought on “You’re Being Creepy on the Internet and It’s Keeping You From Getting Laid

  1. Finding My Inner Zen says:

    Agreed. I’m not sure why men think it’s okay to act like complete douchebags behind the safety of their smartphone. I would wager to guess the words that they emit from their fingertips would never come out of their mouths in a “real-life” setting.

    Liked by 1 person

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