The Best of Tinder Bios: Part One

If you haven’t noticed I spend a lot of time on Tinder. As a result I have seen some pretty awesome bios. Here are 20 I felt needed to be shared with the world.

Disclaimer: Some bios may be edited for length. All quotes are kept in their original context. In other words if you can’t spell I didn’t save your ass before telling the internet.


Wherever you are, be there. Good eye contact is sexy. Proper grammar is a wet dream. And starting a sentence with the word “and” is very cool to me.

Aspiring television game show host. Currently working as an investment consultant/advisor.

When I was 8 years old I used to get scared that I’d get pulled over while driving and the cop would ask me to say my ABC’s backwards and I wouldn’t be able to so he’d arrest me for being drunk. So I practiced for years and now I can say my ABC’s backwards really fast.

I need a girlfriend so I can get a puppy and have someone to take care of it when I go on trips. I have a career, great sense of humor and a sensitive side. You can also fly for free.

Holy shit, you’re all intimidatingly pretty.

Looking for someone to eat out for 6 hours and also buy jewelry for and also compare favorably to ex-girlfriends. Or whatever.

I like people who care about the world, but are also realistic. I also like drinking and going to bed early.

I’m in a open relationship with music.

Old fashioned (don’t even try to open your own door or pay for dinner). Heavily tatted. Biker. Classic cars. Guns and archery. Dad to a rottweiler. Skydiving, snowboarding, etc. Enjoy working with my hands. Brutally honest and open. Sarcastic, funny, dad jokes.

In all honesty I work nights and need someone to talk to at 3am

I like things that are hot. And spicy. And wrapped in tin foil. And are burritos.

I’d like to go to Holland next summer, wooden shoe?

Well she gotta be five foot eleven/ she smells like heaven/ Let’s me do what I want to twenty four seven/ She got full intention for letting me be me/ And you know she got some real big boobies/ A countrified booty/ And she thinks cleaning house is a womans duty/ If anyone knows where the perfect girl might be/ Won’t you tell her bout me.

We will go out for a drink or two, then you will decide that its ok that I dont have any super powers. Mainly because you believe that I could be Batman.

Not a fan of goodbyes, Mondays or spiders.

It’s me I’m a law student just checking this out. Sports, shooting guns and doing whatever feels right is my style. Hope to chat with you.

I enjoy mixed drinks, like bourbon mixed with ice.

Life after college isn’t so much fun, so I got a tinder. You have permission to lie about where you met me.

22 years and counting without a shirtless mirror selfie.

If you’re looking for a relationship, eharmony is just a few clicks away.



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