Some more time has passed, more Tindering has been done, and I have collected 20 more awesome bios to share with the world. I still haven’t found my soulmate, I may or may not have gotten any better at communicating, I may or may not have gone on some dates, but I did turn it into a higher number of matches. Below are some of my favorites. Some are good, some are bad, some you just have to read for yourself.
Disclaimer: Some bios may be edited for length. All quotes are kept in their original context. In other words if you can’t spell I didn’t save your ass before telling the internet.
I’m 22 years young. I still live with my parents. I have my cousins truck for another week, and I’m down to clown.
If you want to be number one, you have to be odd.
Live, love, and have a good fucking time
My friend gave me his Epi-pen ad he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Fuck it, I really hope you swipe right just for my dog.. She’s the best anyways
February 1st 1991 it happened. I was born in west savannah way before I started rappin’
Just tryin to be like a dad without kids
I’ve been mostly content with being a charmingly bohemian space cadet. If you’re still reading this then I must advise as your doctor to message me. It is good for your health. Or if you just like talking music and tattoos. Same thing.
Just looking for someone who will put up with me long enough to come to my cousin’s wedding in February. Bonus points if you like to dance, because we’ll be doing that a lot. I like girls with long hair, glasses, and a criminal record.
I enjoy long walks on the beach with my girlfriend; at least until the LSD wears off and I realize I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy’s parking lot.
I’m all about having fun. You know, get a few cocktails in me, start a fire in someone’s kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off.
Send nudes #weeislight *missionary position only
Alex is my name, meth is my game.
I message people on here about as often as Congress does something productive. If you’re staring at your phone in your mirror selfies, you may be a bit narcissistic.
I recently bought groceries that included only one kind of candy so basically I’m crushing this whole “adult” thing
Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix
No she’s not my girlfriend and no she’s not my sister. Sexy Wolf Whisper by Day. Professional Erotic Photographer by Night. It’s tough being a single dad. Or so I’m told, I wouldn’t know; I don’t have any kids.
So I bought some shoes from my dealer today, I don’t know what they’re laced with but I’ve been tripping all day.
Be ready for the ultimate pickup line repertoire. You ain’t ever witnessed something quite like this before.
Sometimes I play Mario kart. Sometimes I forget the pizza in the oven.
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