On Monday morning I woke up with a long list of tasks to complete before going back to school and an important phone call to wait for. At some point that morning I was going to hear the results of my MRI. I knew at that point regardless of what they found there was not really going to be any ‘good news’ just that some news was going to be better than others. I knew at some point, likely before noon, I would get a call. I knew that until that call came mundane tasks such as laundry, cleaning, packing, and renewing the registration on my car were just going to keep my mind wandering. Instead I decided to get in my car and go for a drive into the city with the purpose of seeing certain street corners at new angles. There are parts of the city that are very familiar to me. There are streets I have driven a thousand times, often only going in one direction. There are places I use to love that I haven’t seen in over a year. Before the possibility of my life changing forever I wanted to see them in a new light.
As it turns out I am relatively fine. The scan revealed I have a small but benign brain tumor that they will continue to monitor but for the time being it can safely stay where it is as long as it doesn’t continue to grow. I’m not excited about the news, but I pretty much knew in advance that it was coming. All things considered I’m as happy as someone can be about having a foreign object in their brain. Most importantly I’m deciding to change the outlook on my life. Benign doesn’t mean symptom or worry free and as a result I’m going to keep following my path of living my life to the fullest. Some time in the next month I am going to leave the state of Tennessee and I will probably drag at least one friend or sister along for the ride. I’m going to say yes more often and I’m going to learn to say no when I need to. I’m going to cut more carcinogens out of my diet. Most importantly I’m going to continue to fall in love with being alive and hold on to that feeling with an iron fist.