Coming to Terms with the Thing Inside my Head

The past few days have had a relatively depressing trend, however I promise after this post I will get back to my usual light hearted stories. On Monday I was made aware of a benign brain tumor that has been living in my head for an unknown amount of time and will likely remain there for the rest of my life. As long as it doesn’t continue to grow it isn’t causing me any life threatening harm and so for the most part I am okay with it’s existence. There is however one little detail that is a little surreal and still a little difficult to get out of my mind. I have a brain tumor and it will likely never be symptom free.

I have suffered from severe migraines for as long as I can remember so the exact point in time when something began growing in my head is something we will probably never know for sure. I have been prescribed every painkiller I can name from high dose ibuprofen to narcotics. I have had 5 rounds of steroid/painkiller injections. I have been prescribed dozens of medications and been hospitalized twice. I have discovered 7 drug interactions my doctor and pharmacist were unaware existed. I have discovered 2 drug allergies I didn’t know existed.

Most recently I have been given 6 weeks to try a preventative medication I have been promised is likely to have a higher success rate than any of the other drugs I have bounced around on over the past decade. I have been asked to keep notes on everything from the food I eat, to the amount of exercise I do, and every medication I take, to every detail of every headache I have. It is going to be a long journal. I have been asked to remove as many artificial sweeteners as possible from my diet and to get as much sleep as I can.  In 6 weeks I will go back for another scan and botox injections.

The journaling is going to take some getting use to (it seems like I am constantly in a state of being hyper aware of the nerve endings in my head). So far I don’t hate the medication but it has yet to be effective and it is fairly inconvenient (I don’t like eating right before bed and I really hate having to take it with a full bottle of water) however if it works I am willing to give anything a chance. At this point it is still a waiting game and once I learn to cope with it perhaps my life will go back to normal. Maybe.


2 thoughts on “Coming to Terms with the Thing Inside my Head

  1. timelesswheel says:

    Reading this post just brings back all those experiences I’ve read about people finding solution to their health problems (not unlike yours) by trying past-life regression. I haven’t tried it myself and you don’t have to believe in regression or hypnosis or reincarnation or after life for it. It has worked for a lot of people who initially thought it was load of nonsense. I highly recommend it… There might be a hypnotherapist who can regress you (either to your childhood memories or past life memories) to find a solution to this…
    Hope you’re not too freaked out *teeth baring smiley emoticon*
    I truly hope you find relief and peace.


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