I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing halfway through how much you enjoy them and their existence.
If you haven’t figured it out by now my best friend is a guy. This coming semester we are both going to be a lot busier then we were last semester and I know our friendship is going to change drastically as a result. In so many ways it already has. On one hand the thought of our friendship changing scares me to death. There have already been times when I want him there when he cant be, however our lives don’t match up the way they use to and that is a good thing. We are both growing as people and taking opportunities that will ultimately get us to our end goals in life. We have had an extremely open and honest friendship since day one and it has led us to gathering stories in the span of weeks most friendships don’t gather in a lifetime. He has been by my side through a lot of trauma, even more recovery, and more laughter than I have ever experienced with another person. I have never felt more honored to call someone my friend and I know that in an emergency he would be there in a heartbeat. We have seen each other at our best, criticized each other at our worst, we have been calling each other on our shit from day one, and most importantly we understand each other in ways other people don’t. There are so many memories I could share with you from our friendship and while no one memory alone does it justice there is one that has happened a thousand times. Sitting in a room, in a restaurant, in a car, laughing quite often at nothing at all, and realizing just how lucky I am to have such an amazing person in my life.
We met when I was at one of the lowest points I have ever been in my adult life and honestly I don’t know if we would have been friends had we met at any other time. While I had lots of people surrounding me who would have eventually pulled me from the wreckage I couldn’t be happier to say it was him. Sometimes when life gets rough you need a man to hand you a bottle of coke, tell you to take a sip, and then hand you a bottle of whiskey and tell you to drink it straight. Sometimes you need a few days, or even weeks, to allow your life to continue to spiral before you pick up the pieces. Sometimes you need to have a mental breakdown to realize how far you let your life get from the path you originally intended. Sometimes you just need to stop and look around for awhile and remember why you love living, remember what you love doing, remember the people you love to be around.
When I first decided to seek medical attention for the symptoms that ultimately lead me down the path of multiple neurologists he was the first person I told. When my migraines were to the point of not wanting to move he was one of the first people who knew. When I started hallucinating on a regular basis he was one of the only people I told. When I made the first neurological appointment he was the only one I told. When I found out that my MRI had shown something but that it would be days before I knew what I called him before walking into the next room to tell my parents. When I was informed my brain tumor was benign I called him to share the good news before even considering calling my parents at work. Neither of us are very emotional people, yet during my emotional rollercoaster he is the only one who has ever known how to respond 100% of the time. He can gauge when I need to be told to calm down, shut up, take anxiety medication, take a shot, or when it is the time to actually break down. I have never met a person, no matter how close we were, who could turn off one of my mental break downs and he can do it in 5 minutes or less. I’m sure there will be more rough days in our future, I’m sure there will be more break downs, but I know there will also be a hell of a lot more laughing and a hell of a lot more good news and I can’t think of anyone else I would want to share it with first.
At the end of the day, it’s all about the first person you want to tell good news to.