It is an empty feeling that reaches not only your heart, but your soul. It is knowing that something that was once there very well might never return. It’s a hole in your life that may go unfilled. When someone or something leaves your life it is easily recognized, but when the feeling is caused by the addition or substitution of a person or thing it can be a silent outcry of confusion.
When my relationship began I knew it was what I wanted. I knew he was the man I wanted to be with. He was the friend that had stood by me through everything and the person I couldn’t imagine my life without. Everything had fallen into place in a way I never could have anticipated, yet something wasn’t right. Something was hollow within my heart and my soul and that feeling of being deprived of something was overwhelming.
Sometimes it takes being given everything you could have ever asked for to realize something is missing. For me it took a new relationship with a man I love more than I had ever loved anyone else to realize that the thing that was missing was something inside of me. I had been seeking him, or anyone else for that matter, with the purpose of filling a void in my soul that had been taken by someone else. Except that void couldn’t be filled with another person just because it was caused by one. It was a hollow space inside of me where my confidence had once been and it was a void I had to replenish myself.
Making the decision to move on I learned that sometimes relying on the person you love the most isn’t the way you stay upright. Sometimes you need to sever the ties between the person who holds you up so you can learn to fly. I found what was missing. I put it back. I saved myself, and he was by my side supporting me through it all.
As a busy college student I have decided to start maintaining my blog primarily through posts that are prewritten and heavily edited. As a result I have begun to miss the quick writing I use to do on a daily basis when I had the time for daily posts. As a result I am challenging myself to fill as much of my “unscheduled” days with daily prompts written in 5 minutes or less.