Best of Tinder Bios: Part Eight

If you haven’t noticed I spend a lot of time on Tinder. As a result, I have seen some pretty awesome bios. Here are 20 I felt needed to be shared with the world.

Disclaimer: Some bios may be edited for length. All quotes are kept in their original context. In other words, if you can spell I didn’t save your ass before telling the internet.


Ideal Date is us crossing over borders into foreign countries.

You’re only swiping right because I have a nice beard. I’m only swiping right because I’m really bad at proportioning spaghetti. So if you and 85 of your friends want to come over dinner is ready.

I’m taller than your ex.

I share custody of a beta fish named Kevin with my roommate, but I plan on giving them full custody when I graduate in May.

Momma don’t let me date.. sorry.

I’m just trying to date someone that gives me that same feeling of seeing my food coming in a restaurant

I spend most of my time selling drugs on the corner of happy and healthy

If you want to talk message me. I don’t normally make the first move just because I don’t think messaging a girl who gets a thousand messages will make my chance any higher.

Swiping right is recommended by 1/1 doctors.

Career: protecting the financial markets from doom and devastation. Hobby: everything from breathing to writing Dino erotica short stories. Fun fact: catfished by “Hilary Duff” resulting in stolen credit card information.

You like pizza? I like pizza. Let’s go get some pizza.

Self Proclaimed Most Likely to Succeed I love poetry and whiskey I’m probably drunk off whiskey swiping right.

Pointing out grammatical errors doesn’t make you intelligent, it’s means you suck!

I put the “hot” in thot

Why would I put anything in here when you can just swipe right and find out? Lol

Born too late to explore the earth. Born too early to explore the universe. Born just in time to browse dank memes.

I wanna talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind.

I’m actually pretty decent, if you lower your standards.

Married to a wonderful woman who treats me with the utmost respect. She always had dinner ready for me when I get home from work, gives me a massage whenever I please, and is more than willing to fulfill my sexual needs. She will basically do anything that I ask of her… I’m joking. a girl like that would never like me.

I’m majoring in anatomy and I’m just looking to do a little studying


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